Kids These Days

I watched the teeny-bopper supernatural horror flick "Covenant" last night or early this morning (whichever you prefer).

SIGH...

You know what I'm gonna say before I say it, don't you?

Super-pretty bad boys jumping off cliffs reminiscent of "The Lost Boys", fake chase scenes where the actors aren't trusted to drive on a real road, bad CGI, gay boy band reject actors (the actresses even joke about it) and a silly little plot all make for a very slick little pooper of someone's money. What do you expect from a film where the climax posits good pretty boy against bad pretty boy playing a witchcraft version of catch?

The only nice thing I'll say about this movie is that from a female feminist's perspective, I appreciate that this movie was about male witches rather than females.

...Okay, two things. The soundtrack's not bad, either.

This Is The Zodiac Not Speaking

For the first time in the history of our relationship, my mother and I thought we would go to a movie together. The Zodiac would've appreciated our efforts. The breezy March night was virtually dripping with disappointment.

So Thursday night, off we go in search of the Zodiac. The first theatre unapologetically reported "technical difficulties" and further said that they would not be fixed because that night was the last night for Zodiac.

Undeterred, we ventured across town to yet another theatre only to find that Zodiac was not showing there.

Finally, we went to a third theatre, the newest in town, and got tickets to the 10:35 showing. The theatre employee had difficulty printing the ticket but finally produced two of them and I rejoiced, even though they said 7:30 on them.

So, happy and encouraged, my mom and I went to a nearby Fazolli's and dined where we enjoyed some pasta but no extra bread. You know they're supposed to walk around and offer it. Well, they didn't. (Don't get me started on my fast food horrors as of late.)

So after we finished eating, we went back to the theatre and got a drink, went to the bathroom, and sat around until the 7:30 feature ended.

Finally, the 7:30 crowd left and we went in. My mother and I were the only people in the theatre. We sat through some awful country music and read the coercively boring advertisments as they scrolled and repeated on the screen ad nauseum. Finally, around 10:50, a janitor comes in and starts cleaning. I send my mother out to inquire WTF is going on. She comes back with guess who? The little moron theatre employee who sold me the tickets and tells my mother and I that there is no 10:35 showing of Zodiac. Furthermore, there never was a 10:35 showing of Zodicac during the week. And, he blames the girl who took our tickets for selling us the incorrect tickets when in fact, he did. Our compensation? Two free tickets and free admission any Wednesday.

Poor mom. She was dieing to see Zodiac. What's worse is she never goes to the show/movies. And she didn't get to this time, either. And it doesn't look like we'll be going anytime soon. Other than "300" there's nothing coming in the remote future I'd pay a penny to see. So needless to say, since my husband and I have seen "300", my mom and step-father will get to see it for free.

But that leaves two free admissions to see something else. Choices, choices.

300

I think it's safe to say, someone named Persephone would be interested in Greek mythology. Even safer to say that they would appreicate well-made movies about Greek mythology. Okay, maybe even shitty ones, since the selection of Greek mythology movies is so scarce.

"300" would make any Greco-Roman proud.

Jason and I went to see it Friday night. We hadn't been to the movies at night in a long time because it's more expensive to go at night, but we splurged and ended up having a good time. And was this the movie on which to splurge or what?? Believe me, this film lives up to the hype unlike so many others. It's an absolute stunning visual experience. While violent and drizzled with a bit of nudity, the barbaric savagery of the setting deems it appropriate in its context. So much comes together in this magnificent piece of work (script, acting, cinematography, score) that I'm not at all surprised it's sweeping the box office. If you get a chance, go see this flick. This is one I'll be picking up for my permanent collection. It rocks.

The Descent

Finally. A decent horror movie. Normally I don't write movie reviews, although sometimes I wonder why I don't since I like movies, particularly horror movies and I could write just as good a review as anyone else.
I caught The Descent on Sunday afternoon after having read some reviews stating that it was good. Now that sounds like I need reviews to tell me what to like. That assumption would be incorrect. I need reviews to tell me what not to waste my money on. And this was a safe gamble. With an almost all-female cast of women who can actually act, save the first scene or two, this was akin to The Thing with its all-male ensemble. And while I'm on The Thing, I'll mention that even the music reminded me of The Thing. A nod to John Carpenter maybe? At any rate, it's a good flick and uses some surprisingly simple tricks to gather some screams. The monsters reminded me of the vamps in Blade 2 but they still creeped me out. And that's hard to do. The only complaint I have is every now and then the accents of one or two actors got in the way of understanding their dialogue, but all in all, not a biggie. Four stars.