The Writer's Waiting Room

The waiting is the hardest part. -- Tom Petty

Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, my pediatrician told my mother I was a patient patient. Now it may have been an icebreaker, a pun to make a pumpkin-headed, snaggletooth little girl smile, but the truth is, I’m pretty good at waiting. I’ve stood in lines without complaining, I don’t mind red lights all that much and I accept that things will happen when they happen possibly for reasons I don’t understand.

But not everybody is as good at waiting as I am. In my small family, there are Type A personalities, people for whom waiting is akin to torture. They twitch and shift and groan when they have to stand in long lines, they beat their steering wheels like maniacs when they see the light go from yellow to red and they have a difficult time accepting that the future is uncertain. They want to know what’s going to happen at four thirty in the afternoon on August 12, 2022. 

Well, everyone has a chink in their armor and I’ve finally found mine. Waiting. Last year, when I signed my first contract with Ellora’s Cave, I had no idea what to expect. Within a month or so, I got my contract, my cover art form and my cover art. 

Then the waiting began. I didn’t know how long I would have to wait but I was patient. There are a lot of authors at EC and a lot of very busy editors. I picked a spot in the writer’s waiting room and got comfortable. For what it’s worth, there’s good reading material in the writer’s waiting room. 

Then the worst possible thing happened. My editor flaked out on me. As in, no word, no e-mail, just radio silence week after week, months went by. That was hard. 

Really hard.

I wondered what I should do. Should I contact someone? Was this average wait time? Was my flaky editor lying in a ditch somewhere? Were they trying to figure out a way to tell me they’d reconsidered my contract and didn’t want to publish me after all? Did I suck? Should I find the nearest cliff and jump off, saving myself the shame and embarrassment? 

I thought I was going to lose my mind. Suddenly, the expert at waiting was wigging out. It wasn’t pretty, folks. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think. I couldn't write.

Finally, the Editor-in-Chief contacted me and straightened everything out. I got reassigned a new editor, a worlds better editor and it all made sense. I might have had to wait but the wait paid off. I ended up getting a better editor in the long run. 

Then came the wait for my first edits. Yup, more waiting. Back to the writer’s waiting room. 

Finally, I got my edits. I had some work to do. So I got out my corkboard, my index cards, Post-Its and tacks and went to work brainstorming. I filled in holes and explained things. I made my story even better. I sent in the new and improved version. 

And waited some more. Yes, more. The agony! 

In my sleepless lunacy, I stumbled across some finely-written blog posts about writers and the tortures of waiting. They say some wise things and they say them much better than I ever could. But I gleaned something from them, from the experience. 

While waiting, don’t wait. 

I know, Zen as hell, right?

But I’m serious. Let it go and go on. Keep writing. Forget about it. Keep your head down and stay busy. If you think you’ve waited a fair amount of time, be polite and touch base with your editor or publisher or whoever you think holds your fate by the shorthairs. If you’re worried you’ll offend them, just admit you’re new to the whole process and you don’t know what to expect. 

In short, don’t drive yourself crazy. 

Ever tried to scratch your nose in a straightjacket? 

It’s damn near impossible.

The wait for my Ellora’s Cave debut is almost over. My editor e-mailed me March 31st and told me my release date. “Kilting Me Softly” will be available on May 10^th, 2013.

New Place, New Headspace

My husband and I have a new place. My office, the second bedroom in our apartment, is much bigger and has the ONLY balcony-access door on the entire complex. That's gotta be cool, right?

Also cool is the prospect of a new headspace. 2011 was NOT the best year for writing here at Casa Del Persephone Jones, so I'm hoping the change of scenery will prove creatively fruitful.

Honesty

There are many pet causes and personal wars in which I gladly volunteer to fight, but depression, The Big D, The Big Black, The Black Dog, is one that is close to my heart. Unfortunately. It's sort of like that mole that the doctor says would hurt more to remove than leave there. Only he doesn't mention that leaving it there makes you want to jump off a cliff. Now that's what I call a win-win situation, right there.

My point? Depression has robbed me of so much. No scratch that. So freakin' much. The list is too long and sordid to go into but suffice to say, I shall never win the war, but I do occasionally kick depression's ass in a battle. But in recent weeks, it has been it's turn to reciprocate the steel-toed boot in my ass. And boy does that sonofabitch hurt. It has tried its damnedest to take away my peace of mind, my joy, my accomplishments, my sense of self. Well, today, munitions, supplies and backup managed to punch through and aid me when I needed it most. Music, physical activity and connection with my critique partner. They helped me.

Depression, Mr. D, may have me in his clutches again. As a matter of fact, it is inevitable. But not today. Today, I was a feather's width ahead of him. Today, I danced circles around him. Today my smile blinded his black eyes.

Today--is mine.

So, in the spirit of things, here's a video of a performer singing a song that fits the theme of this post. I could be phony and just post when things are happy and shiny but that's not me. Good, bad, ugly--that's honesty.

Welcome Back, Musey Muse Muse Muse Muse

(Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo and Edie McClurg as Nurse DeFarge in The Golden Girls Episode "Beauty and the Beast")

Finally.
Some wordage.
Not only that, but actual good wordage.
About 2K.
Two thousand and one hundred some odd words on a story that all of a freakin' sudden wants to be written.
Um...
Okay, Muse.
I'll just pretend I didn't notice your MONTH-long absence.
*Shrug*
No biggie.
I'll just sit here and keep typing.
Nooo problemo...

Tired and Moody

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm not exactly depressed but I feel moody and tired. I feel groggy like I can't get woke up.

I'm being torn in two different directions creatively and am starting to feel both story ideas SUCK. So I don't know which one to work on.

I've got a deadline here people and I think my Muse is on vacation!

Grrr...

Writing Blahs

There must be something in the air. Everyone's bummed about one thing or another and I don't want to write. I have been doing a lot of organizing and transcribing notes onto disk, but very little real writing.

Rain continues to be a long-forgotten phenonema of the past. I water and shake my head. I get wetter with sweat than the brown grass does with water.

This has been one helluva summer.

And down here in Texas it ain't over yet.

To think there are people somewhere north of me buying wool sweaters.

Computer Virus Pt 2

Is there something in the water?

I had another stomach "thing" for a several days last week and am unsure if I'm over it yet. My husband handed me a couple of cold pills and I begrudgingly took them only to have them work.

Cold pills for a stomach "thing"? Okie-dokie.

At any rate, the whole "thing" has left me in this weird non-creative mood. I am storyboarding but I haven't really written in days and days. My writer group probably thinks I'm a total Frosted Flake. I would have preferred them find that out a little later.

Second Story Drag

Ug. I can't for the life of me get going on this second story, Blade Dancer.

My little schedule that I created some time ago is shot to Hell. At this pace, I'll die before I've written three books.

There's just something about this one that's bugging me. I printed up the first half some time ago and let it sit while I backtracked and polished up the first project for the contest. Now that number one is pretty much complete, I can focus on number two.

Unfortunately, I lost some much needed momentum. So I got out the printed first half and am going through laborious edits in the hopes that I can reacquaint myself with it. There's things about it I like and probably more I don't like. As usual my hero is trying to steal the show. Bad, bad, bad character!

I keep coming back to anime for inspiration. It was anime that sort of sparked some little piece of motivation in me. Perhaps it's time for some Witch Hunter Robin as first seen on Adult Swim.